Archive for the 'My Little Buddy' Category

The Reverse of Polarity

I used to play with magnets and their wonderful Star Wars force like powers. A quick slide across the table and I was Yoda moving magnets without touching them. “Mmm, move a magnet with my mind, I will.” It’s simple science… opposite poles attract, similar poles repel.

However, life is not as simple. Somehow it happened. The polarity has shifted with my children, and it happened when I least expected. My reach in’s for kisses are met with an equal repel away like two magnets both turned to the south polarity.

The polarity of the camera repels them when I attempt to take their picture. They move equally fast away when I reach in for a hug at the check-out line at Target. The latest magnet to shift is with Rebekah. She gets embarrassed when I say we are on a date.

Well at least she still holds my hand. For now.

That, along with the couch foot massages are my last two Magnets.

Let Me Walk By And Smell You.

Aaron has this habit.

He smells me.

I catch him doing this more than he realizes. Every time we are sitting on the couch together: He smells me. Occasionally when he walks by, he stops to sniff. Morning hugs, he takes a wiff. He has said on many occasions that he likes the way I smell. “I smell like a Dad” he says. I tend to disagree since my perception of a Father smell is one laced with of Carhartts, Marlboro Cigarettes and fresh cut wood.

I am none of those.

What AJ unknowingly realizes at the age of nine is that smell is powerful. It has the power to captivate. Illicit memories. At times repulse and at it’s best drive emotion. For me it’s the smell of hair that I love. What Aaron also doesn’t realize is that every time we sit on the couch together, when I stop him in the hallway as he tries to walk by, or every morning hug I have been smelling his hair. I’ve been taking a wiffs ever since he was born and getting high off the scent.

I know where he gets the habit.

The Black Sheep

Aaron said something pretty funny on the way to the Easter Vigil Mass last night. It was about our Dog Max’s stuffed black sheep that came with him on Christmas Eve last year. That’s the day when Santa, good old St. Nicholas, decided to drop a dog on our doorstep.

Yep, our new dog Maxwell Birkenstock came to us on Christmas Eve. I haven’t really wrote about him very much, I mean the nature of his arrival, or that fact I do now have a dog living under my roof. That will be for another post. This post is about the black sheep.

If Max had a favorite toy this would be it. The black sheep was as big as he was on Christmas Eve. He would drag it by the ears around the hardwoods while tripping over it every other step. Max is bigger now and he still loves that black sheep. In some cases he shows it too much love. Every so often it becomes an awkward moment when Max is “loving” his toy and Aaron innocently says, “Aw, how cute! Max is hugging his favorite sheep!” Joey responds with a quick 14 year old response of a laughter filled “Yeah, he’s hugging it alright. Look at him go.”

Aaron said in the car last night on the way to Church that he realized why Santa brought the black sheep with him on Christmas Eve. He said “Santa is really St Nicholas, so it makes sense that he would bring a sheep with him. Because Jesus was a shepherd, and St. Nicholas was one of his saints.”

A nice revelation from a nine year old on the way to church. I’d be lying if I said I made the connection earlier.

He then followed it up with “Or maybe he just happened to have one
on hand in the sleigh… yeah probably.”

Happy Easter.

The 75th Ride on the Reading.

I love the game Monopoly. If I had to pick a favorite board game this would be it. Monopoly is the perfect game. Just enough strategy, balanced with luck. I love the game pieces, the colors of the board, the illustrations on the Community Chest and Chance cards. Monopoly has just enough math for me and I love that the playing board is filled with properties that are named after actual locations around Atlantic City, NJ. (However Illinois Avenue was renamed Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. in the 1980′s and the actual St. Charles Place no longer exists courtesy of a casino.)

Thanks in part to my Brother Dan and his friend Eric this is one game I know far too much about. Property costs, mortgage rates, and the fact that the famed Reading Railroad is pronounced Redding, not Reading. I have played so much I know what properties are the “real” ones you want to get, and when going to jail can sometimes win you the game. If your in the mood for a quick parlor trick, quiz me sometime. I won’t disappoint.

In 1998 Julie and I got a Deluxe Monopoly game for Christmas. The set has wooden, not plastic houses and hotels, gold colored game pieces including a classic train. A sweet spinning holder for the property cards, and a banker’s tray to keep the cash at the ready. More importantly the board has a dark purple Mediterranean and Baltic Avenue. Unlike the brown of the new sets of today. On January 1, 1999 we played our first game. Julie was the boot and I was the racecar and Julie won. I know this because for that game, and every game since, I have written on the underside of the box lid in a white Prismacolor pencil who played, what piece they used, what the date was, and more importantly who won.

Thirteen years later, game 75 was played last Sunday, New Year’s Day, 1-1-12. We had had several opportunities to play this game, We had the chance to play with Dan and Linda, My Mom and Norbert, Julie’s sister Joanne, and even our friends Mike and Rachel. For one reason or another we opted to not play and Game 75 was held. Held until Sunday.

This was the cliff notes version of game 75:

Julie was the thimble, Joey was the train, Rebekah was the dog, Aaron was the racecar, and I was the old utility van. Rebekah made it around the board first and ironically bought the Mediterranean Ave as the game’s first property. Aaron spent a lot of time in Jail, and I mopped up free parking and landed on Illinos Ave seemingly on every pass around. Aaron was out first, even with a saving move by Julie. She was next, then Rebekah setting up a showdown between Joey and me. In the end this game saw at least two fatal moves, mentions of the “full color spectrum, and 3 house plateau”, and ended up with Joey as the winner.

I’m glad my family likes Monopoly. I’m glad that as a family we can play games that don’t end in arguments. I’m glad that for 2 hours or so we can just worry about getting that last orange property versus a high score on some electronic device. In the end, this game was a worthy 75th, and one that I know we’ll all remember vividly when we pencil in #100, #125, or even #150.

The Fortune Teller

At 9 years old my son A.J. has a great concept of the art of sarcasm and humor, and employs them whenever possible. Tonight at the dinner table over hot turkey sandwiches and sweet potatoes he once again proved why I call him “My witty and entergetic little fireball.”

Aaron made one of the fortune tellers out of paper and was going one by one telling us our fortune. I remember making these when I was his age and walking the halls of Wiley Elementary School back in Michigan. My fortunes were written something along the lines of… “you will be the best baseball player”, “you like the first girl you see next”, or “you are great”. Sometimes they had the names of girls inside like “Joanna”, “Lisa”, “Jenny” and “Cheryl” Around the playground we’d and tease about who the other liked based solely on the fortune read at the end of the, pick a number, pick a number, and reveal your fortune sequence.

There are eight possible outcomes one can arrive at in this fortune teller.
These are Aaron’s eight fortunes.

1. You will live in a box.

2. You will get attacked by rats in 5 days.

3. You get a lifetime supply of pumpkin pie.

4. Safe!

5. For Christmas you will get a pony.

6. You will live in the trash.

7. You will be a pepper taster when you grow up.

8. You will need a cane when you are 20.

Julie got number 2. He proceeded to let us know “to watch out, because in 5 days the rats are coming. Even if we forget… they will come, and then it’s, aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! RATS!!!”

Crap, didn’t I already say no rats in the house?

Love at Three Sights

When I was younger I never believed in love at first sight. My life in advertising as an Art Director had trained me to never buy into the movie or television romances exploited by the entertainment industry. From early on I understood that on-screen romances were driven by plot lines, ratings and had nothing to do with real chemistry. A major component to love. However love is very abstract. It doesn’t follow rules and doesn’t pretend to play favorites and I understand that now. Love transcends the logical and gets you to see life differently. Eyes become opened, and this, at times, happens in an instant.

Such as, the first time I saw my son Joey. That was love at first sight. The doctor held him up, eyes wide open and he was big and strong. I picked him up and everything changed (stealing a line from Ben Folds).

The first time I saw my daughter Rebekah. That was love at first sight. Her tiny frame so fragile. Her cry so sweet. I fell hard that day.

The first time I saw youngest son Aaron, albeit one month early, well you guessed it, and that was before i knew he would grow into a sarcastic and witty energetic fireball.

I often think back to that time when I first saw each one of my children. When i do, my heart swells, and I get lost in thought. My reward is a memory burned into the soft tissue of my brain. It’s like the finger print of the one I love is permanently there for the rest of my days. I hope it’s something my three kids get to experience someday.

So if someone today asked me if i believed in love at first sight I would respond with a revised view of “depends on the case”. If somebody said to me “what about chemistry at first sight?”

Well that’s a definite yes, and a whole ‘nother blog post.

Spiderman vs Batman

Sometimes the conversations my kids have really make me laugh. Case and point was last Saturday. Aaron was jumping around the house acting like Spiderman. Slinging imaginary webs from couch to couch, from couch to table, table to wall and wall to his brother… then tackle… then wrestle… then repeat.

This sparked a conversation between Joey and Aaron that posed the question of who would win in a fight between Spiderman and Batman. Aaron claims that Spiderman would be easier to kill than Batman. Since Batman has all the toys. (not sure why he was not pretending to be Batman instead of Spiderman) Joey claims that the argument was pointless because any superhero is easy to kill except for Superman.

The converastion went something like this…

Joey said “Aaron Batman is just a guy. He has no powers and his batarangs run out. Let’s say he’s fighting the Joker at the Mall…

I interrupted, “Wait, Joey why is the Joker hanging out at the Mall? Is he robbing Banana Republic, or Payless Shoes?” “No Dad, he’s not robbing Payless, he’s robbiing another store…”

“Like the pretzel shop or Victoria Secret?”

“No Dad… Okay, he’s not at the Mall, he’s at the bank”

“Ok, that’s better, the bank makes sense.”

Joey went on to say to Aaron, “He throws all three of his batarangs at the Joker, and he misses. Then he has nothing. Spiderman just makes more webs, and can scale walls. You see Aaron, Batman is just a guy with no powers and Spiderman has powers that help him, but really they both won’t survive a bullet to the head. No hero would except for Superman.”

Aaron rebuked, “No Batman can dodge them.”

“You can’t dodge a bullet to the head. Aaron tell me a superhero and I will tell you how easy it would be to kill them.”

Aaron, “Robin.”

Joey, “Bullet to the head”

Aaron, “Captain America.”

Joey, “Bullet to the head”

Aaron, “Green Lantern”

Joey, “Bullet to the head”

After a couple more Joey felt he made his point and I was laughing. A.J. shrugged his shoulders and left the room saying “Eh, Batman would still beat Spiderman.”

Joey chased him… and I am pretty sure Aaron flung some Spidey webs to fight Joey off before he got tackled.

The Bedtime Routine

School starts on Wednesday and with it comes bed times, early mornings and mass chaos before the bus clicks on the red lights and slowly comes to complete rest at the new stop. What also comes is an opportunity again to reacquaint the Mayernik household with some normal routines. For me, it’s getting to tuck the kids in at night. With Summer vacation and the house renovations in the mix, normal routines have been smashed into small pieces. Some normalcy would be welcomed in my head right about now.

Nightime rituals have changed over the years from childhood stories, to reading books, bathtime, and heart to heart talks. One thing that has not changed are the prayers and what my kids call the “God Song”. It’s a song by Michael Card titled God’s Own Fool. When my oldest son Joey was a small toddler I got in the habit of singing this song to him after prayers. Naturally, I also sang, and still sing, to Rebekah and Aaron. It has evolved into a nice tradition that I look forward to when I tuck them in. Now at the ages they are at they know the words. They sing along and it makes them smile which in turn makes me smile. The message of the song is clear: Follow God’s own fool.

Most of Michael Card’s songs are a bit preachy for me and they don’t really find their way from the ipod catalog to the earphones, but this one I find to be particularly good. It has a bit of humor disguised in an otherwise preachy message. And that I appreciate. With Joey going into High School this year he has graduated past me sitting by his bed side at night saying prayers and singing the song. He says prayers on his own now. Maybe he sings the song in his head, maybe not. But I am sure it crosses his mind, and I hope when they are blessed with children. they sing the song too when bedtime calls.

The added layer here is that for their First Communion I sang this song for each of them during their services. It was a nice exclamation point to years worth of singing for, and with them. I’m glad I started singing this song so many years ago. I don’t know why or how it started, I’m just glad it did.

In a flash Joey is starting High School. In a flash Rebekah is 5 foot 1. In a flash Aaron is 9. Where has the time gone? I shake my head sometimes at the humor of it all. The first day.. three new schools, new friends, new bus stops, new home… and thankfully holding on to some old favorite routines.

Here are the Lyics to the song in case you are interested:

Gods Own Fool by Michael Card

Seems I’ve imagined Him all of my life
As the wisest of all of mankind
But if God’s Holy wisdom is foolish to man
He must have seemed out of His mind
Even His family said He was mad
And the priest said a demon’s to blame
But, God in the form of this angry young man
Could not have seemed perfectly sane

We in our foolishness thought we were wise
He played the fool and He opened our eyes
We in our weakness believed we were strong
He became helpless to show we were wrong
So we follow God’s own Fool
For only the foolish can tell
Believe the unbelievable, come be a fool as well

So come lose your life for a carpenter’s son
For a madman who died for a dream
And You’ll have the faith His first followers had
And you’ll feel the weight of the beam
So surrender the hunger to say you must know
Find the courage to say I believe
For the power of paradox opens your eyes
And blinds those who say they can see

We in our foolishness thought we were wise
He played the fool and He opened our eyes
We in our weakness believed we were strong
He became helpless to show we were wrong
So we follow God’s own Fool
For only the foolish can tell
Believe the unbelievable, come be a fool as well

I Fear Dogs

After a discussion with Aaron, my youngest son, about roller coasters he said a peculiar thing… he said “Dad, you are not afraid of anything.” (I wish that were true.) He then continued to say, “You’re not afraid of spiders, bugs, heights… because you go on the roof and ride the really big roller coasters. You go in the basement alone and are not afraid of the dark. So what are you afraid of?”

“Dogs.” I told him. “I’m afraid of Dogs. To many times getting chased by them on my bike while trying to deliver newspapers as a kid I guess.” But really, this was a quick answer to not have to really answer. Yes, I am afraid of barking dogs but the truth is I am afraid of lots, and I have two biggies.

One: I am afraid of growing old.
Two: I am afraid of dying young.

Sounds contradictory? Anxiety filled? Maybe. Let me try to explain. First, I am afraid of growing old. Let me first start out by saying growing old is a blessing. I look forward to seeing my grandchildren get married have their own families some day. The trade off is that life becomes different. With age comes wear and tear on the body. I see many around me who seem to even struggle with walking, shells of their former selves. Succommed to the realization that life has passed them by. That marketing no longer targets them. Music is no longer made for them, and memories are slowly slipping away. Having to bury family, friends and even children that move on to another life has to be gut wrenching, and I am haunted by even having this thought.

I also fear not getting the opportunity to grow old. I see so many leave this earth too soon, and in the prime of their lives with so much more to give. Some with no warning… Just, poof… and your no longer here. I read a quote long ago that stated: Growing old is a privilege denied to many. This really stuck with me. I fear there would be so much I haven’t seen or tried, so much music I never got to listen to, and robbed of memories I would never have a chance to acquire with my family and friends that would be forced to carry on. I know from experience this is gut wrenching, and I am haunted by even having this thought.

The reality is I should not fear either: Why ruin the present thinking about the distant future, or potential lack thereof? There’s no guarantee either way. When I stop and think about it is contradictory and anxiety filled. It’s rather crazy, and I should take my own advice and try to conquer the fears. I need to move on from them and just live life knowing everyday matters and then be at peace with whatever happens.

This is a lot to lay on a 9 year old so I just say,
“Hmmm, what to I fear? Dogs Aaron. I fear dogs.”

The Home that Memories Built

“This will be weird. This will no longer be our home. The home I grew up in. Everything will be different.”

That’s what Joey said to me today. And he’s right. It will be different. We are moving into a new house soon and leaving our current home after 10 years. 10 years of winter snowfalls, summer gardens and fall croquet. Bus stop pick-ups and dropoffs, backyard baseball, playroom cleanings and blanket forts. Morning get out-of-bed struggles and afternoon naps. Sunday after church luppers, muggy nights, Halloween trick or treatings, family game nights and Phantom of the Opera dances.

We packed a lot in these 10 years. It’s easy to look to the new house and see the potential of what could be… what will be. But I need to realize that the transition for Joey, Rebekah and Aaron will be a bit more emotional. Our current home is the house they grew up in. Sure we moved from Atlanta, and first lived in Michigan, but for our three children, 609 is their one and only home they remember.

I decided to make a list of ten memories from our home at 609 bay rd. These are in no particular order. How could I pick one as the best?

10. Playing Monopoly for the first time as a family with everyone playing by themselves. This was a big deal. Aaron is old enough now, Rebekah is patient enough now, and Joey can be banker. Life is good.

9. The Garden. We spent many a Summer cultivating our small 10′ x 14′ garden. Over the years it changed location, shape and its yearly crop was always different. We tried herbs, eggplant, beans, tomatoes, cucumbers, green peppers, squash, lettuce and radishes. Really only cucumbers, lettuce and tomatoes grow there. Perfect for Summertime BLTs.

8. I will miss seeing the deer come every morning in the backyard to eat the cucumbers from the garden. The time Joey was stopped in his tracks due to the two deer that went galloping by was particularly amusing.

7. The day Magglio Ordonez hit a walk off home run to send the Tigers to the 2006 world series. I picked Joey up and spun him in the living room.

6. After dinner backgammon. Best two out-of-three. Julie would win some, I would win some. Sometimes we’d let each other win just to be nice.

5. The realization that living on a main road means that the snow plows leave a thick icy goodness at the base of the driveway that a Buick can never get through.

4. All the family and friends that made the trek to come see us. We truly appreciated the visits. Most of the time we made the journey. To have the ability to share our home was always a welcome change.

3. There is nothing like the final inning of a World Serious game in the back yard. Me batting left handed, and Joey swinging for “Dave’s Yard” for the easy home run. Rebekah always on my team and Aaron always trying 110% just to impress his older brother.

2. Bath time: Blue Guy and his boat, Red Guy, and Green Guy. Singing the Jaws theme while the frog lurked below the surface waiting for just the right time to strike.

1. The birth of our son Aaron John. He came one month early on July 19th. We had nothing prepared. I spent the weekend cleaning the crib, bassinet, and explaining to my Mother-In-Law, who came that day to help us, why we had nothing prepared.

The new house will be a welcome change, and Joey is right, everything is different. But change is good. It will just take awhile for the new house to become our home. And the current home on Bay Rd has one thing the new house on Majestic will never be able to achieve. The title from the Mayernik Trio as “The Home I Grew Up In.”

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